You’ve probably seen hundreds of flirting tips online. But let’s be honest—not all of them work, and some should never be tried!
Flirting is an art, and if done right, it can make you unforgettable. But there’s a fine line between being charming and coming off the wrong way. Understanding that difference is key to successful flirting.
As a man, I know exactly what grabs our attention and what turns us off. I’m here to share the secrets from the other side.
In this post, I’m breaking down the essential dos and don’ts of flirting. These tips will help you connect with confidence and charm, making sure you leave a lasting impression.
10 Dos of Flirting – Things You Should Do

Here are ten dos of flirting, something that men want and adore.
1. Start with a Genuine Smile
A smile is your best first move, especially if you’re just starting your “flirting journey.” It’s simple yet powerful.
A genuine smile instantly makes you more approachable and signals that you’re friendly and open. Plus, it’s the easiest way to break the ice without saying a word.
Think about it—when a man sees you smiling at him, it’s like a green light that says, “I’m interested, and I’m not afraid to show it.”
A real smile makes you more attractive because it shows confidence and warmth. Whether you’re across the room or standing right next to him, a smile is often the spark that starts the conversation.
2. Make Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the most powerful flirting tools you have. It creates an instant connection and shows that you’re genuinely interested.
When you make eye contact, you’re telling him, “I see you, and I want you to see me too.”
But here’s the key—don’t overdo it. Hold his gaze for a few seconds, then look away with a smile. This subtle move creates a playful sense of intrigue.
It’s like you’re saying, “I’m interested, but you’ll have to work a little to keep my attention.” It’s a balance between being confident and inviting without coming off too strong.
3. Use Light Touches
Light touches can be incredibly powerful in flirting, and yes, men love it. But here’s the secret—keep it subtle.
You don’t want to be too obvious or overdo it. Instead, aim for those “accidental” or unconscious touches that feel natural and spontaneous.
For example, lightly brushing his arm during a conversation or letting your hand graze his when you pass him something.
These small gestures can create a connection without making it feel forced. It’s about sparking that physical connection in a way that’s playful and leaves him wanting more.
4. Give Sincere Compliments
Compliments can work wonders when flirting, but only if they’re sincere.
Men can easily tell when you’re just saying something to be nice, so focus on genuine compliments that show you’ve noticed something specific about him.
For example, instead of saying, “You look nice,” try something more personal like, “I love how passionate you are about your work.” Or, “That shirt really brings out your eyes.”
These compliments show that you’re paying attention to the details that matter, making him feel genuinely appreciated.
When your compliments come from a place of truth, they’re not only more effective, but they also make the conversation feel more authentic and meaningful.
5. Use Humor and Teasing
Humor is a fantastic way to build a connection and make flirting fun. Men love a woman who can make them laugh and keep things light-hearted.
But here’s where the magic happens—mix in a bit of playful teasing.
Teasing, when done right, shows that you’re confident and comfortable enough to joke around.
For example, if he tells you about a hobby he loves, you could lightly tease him about being a little too obsessed with it. Or, if he’s trying to impress you, playfully challenge him by saying, “Is that the best you’ve got?”
The key is to keep it light and fun, never crossing into mean territory. When you combine humor with gentle teasing, you create a playful back-and-forth that keeps him engaged and interested.
6. Show Interest with Body Language
You probably already know that body language is key when flirting. But if you’re not familiar with it, it’s important to learn.
Most men can read body language, and if you don’t use it correctly, they might get the wrong idea.
Simple things like leaning in when he talks, facing him directly, or gently playing with your hair show you’re interested without needing to say a word. On the other hand, crossed arms or turning away can send the opposite message.
Use your body to show your interest—it can make all the difference.
7. Be Confident and Authentic
Confidence is incredibly attractive. When you’re confident, it shows that you know your worth and aren’t afraid to express it. Men are drawn to women who are comfortable in their own skin.
But confidence doesn’t mean pretending to be someone you’re not. Authenticity is just as important. Be yourself, flaws and all. There’s nothing more appealing than a woman who is genuine and true to herself.
When you combine confidence with authenticity, you become irresistible. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real.
8. Listen Actively
Men really hate it when women don’t listen actively to what they’re saying. If you’re just nodding along without truly paying attention, they’ll notice—and it’s a huge turn-off.
But here’s the secret: if you really listen to him, you’re already halfway to flirting. Combine that with some positive body language, like nodding or leaning in slightly, and you’re sending all the right signals.
It shows you’re genuinely interested in what he has to say, which makes him feel valued and understood.
Active listening isn’t just polite; it’s a powerful way to connect on a deeper level.
9. Maintain Open Body Language
Here we go with body language again, but it’s essential—keep it open. Open body language makes you approachable and signals that you’re interested. It’s a simple yet powerful way to make a connection.
Things like uncrossed arms, facing him directly, and keeping your posture relaxed all tell him you’re comfortable and engaged. When your body is open, it invites him in, making it easier for him to approach and start a conversation.
Remember, closed-off body language, like crossing your arms or turning away, can send the wrong message, even if you don’t mean it. Keep things open, and you’ll naturally draw him in.
10. Let Him Know You Like Him
This is one of the most important things—let him know you like him. Of course, you’re not going to blurt out, “Hey, I like you” right away, but it’s crucial that he gets the message.
You can show your interest through all the other dos I’ve shared. Use your smile, eye contact, and body language to drop hints. Maybe send a flirty message or let it slip in a conversation that you enjoy spending time with him.
Related: 7 Tips to Show Interest Without Seeming Desperate
You can even use mutual friends to subtly pass along the word.
The key is to be clear but not overwhelming. Let him know you’re interested without making it too obvious or intense. When he realizes you like him, it encourages him to take the next step.
10 Don’ts of Flirting – Don’t Do These

And here are ten don’ts of flirting, something that men in general don’t prefer, don’t expect from you, and maybe even hate.
1. Don’t Be Too Aggressive
Flirting should feel natural and fun, not forced or intense. Being too aggressive can come off as overwhelming or even desperate, which is the last thing you want.
For example, constantly texting him or trying to monopolize his time can make him feel pressured.
Instead, let the interaction flow naturally. If you’ve sent him a message, wait for him to respond before sending another. Give him space to make his moves too.
Flirting is a two-way street, so make sure you’re not doing all the driving. Keep it light and playful, and let the connection build at its own pace.
2. Don’t Use Cheesy Pick-Up Lines
Cheesy pick-up lines can be funny as a joke, but they should never be used for actual flirting. They can make you come off as insincere or trying too hard, which is the opposite of what you want.
Here are some examples of cheesy pick-up lines to avoid:
- “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
- “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
- “Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for.”
- “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
- “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
While these might get a laugh, they won’t help you create a real connection. Stick to genuine compliments and natural conversation instead of relying on these overused lines.
3. Don’t Overdo Compliments
Compliments are great for flirting, but overdoing it can come off as insincere or even silly.
If you’re constantly showering him with praise, it can feel like you’re trying too hard, which can make the compliments lose their impact.
For example, telling him he’s amazing every five minutes or complimenting everything he does can start to sound exaggerated. Instead, focus on giving genuine, thoughtful compliments that feel natural and meaningful.
Related: Top 10 Mistakes Women Make When Pursuing a Man
A well-timed compliment will always carry more weight than a dozen over-the-top ones. Remember, less is often more when it comes to compliments.
4. Don’t Ignore Personal Boundaries
We all have personal boundaries, and it’s important not to ignore them. Respecting a man’s space and comfort level is crucial, especially early on. If he’s not ready to get too close or share personal details, don’t push it.
For example, if he seems hesitant when you lean in too close or if he’s not opening up about his personal life, take it as a sign to give him space.
Forcing intimacy or pushing past his boundaries can make him feel uncomfortable and may push him away.
Let things develop naturally. Respect his boundaries, and let the connection grow at its own pace.
Flirting is about mutual comfort and interest, so be mindful of how he’s feeling too.
5. Don’t Be Inauthentic
Authenticity is key when it comes to flirting. Trying to be someone you’re not just to impress a guy will only backfire in the long run. Men can usually tell when you’re putting on an act, and it can make you seem less trustworthy.
For example, pretending to like something just because he does or acting differently to fit in with his crowd will only create a false connection.
Instead, be yourself and let your true personality shine through. The right guy will appreciate you for who you really are, not who you think he wants you to be.
Remember, real connections are built on honesty and authenticity. Don’t sacrifice who you are just to get his attention.
6. Don’t Overwhelm with Attention
We men love attention, just like you do, ladies. But when someone overwhelms us with too much attention, it can have the opposite effect. Instead of drawing him in, it might push him away.
Constantly texting, calling, or trying to spend every moment together can make him feel smothered. It’s important to give him some breathing room. Let him miss you and think about you when you’re not around.
Balance is key. Show him you’re interested, but also let him have his space. This way, your attention feels special, not overwhelming.
7. Don’t Neglect Hygiene and Appearance
If there’s one thing that I, and pretty much all other men, can’t stand, it’s bad hygiene and a totally neglected appearance. You don’t need to put on makeup every day or dress up all the time—men love natural beauty.
But going out with oily hair, unbrushed hair, or bad breath is a big no-no.
Basic hygiene and grooming are essential. Taking care of your appearance shows that you respect yourself and the person you’re with.
Simple things like fresh breath, clean hair, and well-maintained nails go a long way.
8. Don’t Be Negative
Negativity can be a major turn-off when flirting. Constantly complaining, criticizing, or focusing on the bad can drain the energy out of any interaction.
Men are drawn to positive, uplifting conversations that make them feel good.
If you’re always talking about what’s wrong in your life or putting others down, it’s hard for him to feel excited about spending time with you.
Instead, try to keep the conversation light and positive. Share things that make you happy, and find the good in situations.
A positive attitude not only makes you more attractive but also creates a more enjoyable and engaging connection.
9. Don’t Touch Inappropriately
Touching can be a powerful tool in flirting, but there are boundaries you should never cross, especially if he’s still just your crush. Inappropriate touches, like grabbing his ass or anything more intimate, are a definite no-no—especially in public.
Even in a relationship, there are boundaries when it comes to touch. Being respectful of his comfort zone is key. In the early stages, stick to light, casual touches like a gentle hand on his arm or shoulder.
Save the more intimate touches for when you’re both comfortable and in a private setting. Respect his space and let things progress naturally.
10. Don’t Force the Flirting
While I’m here to give you advice on how to flirt with men—because I know what men love—you should never force it. Sometimes, it’s just not the right moment, or the guy really isn’t interested. Other times, you might be trying too hard, and it shows.
Flirting should feel natural and fun, not like a chore or a performance. If it’s not flowing or if he’s not responding, take a step back. Forcing the situation can lead to awkwardness and frustration for both of you.
Remember, not every interaction needs to turn into flirting. Trust your instincts, and let things develop organically. If it’s meant to happen, it will.