Ever feel like your dates aren’t leading anywhere, and you can’t figure out why?
Understanding what might be turning men off can help you have more successful and enjoyable dating experiences.
This article will guide you through the seven common mistakes women make on dates and how to avoid them.
- 1. Talking Excessively About Ex-Partners
- 2. Displaying Negative Attitudes or Complaining Frequently
- 3. Being Overly Critical or Judgemental
- 4. Oversharing Personal or Intimate Details Too Soon
- 5. Using Excessive Filters or Misleading Photos in Online Profiles
- 6. Being Uninterested or Distracted During the Date
- 7. Playing Games or Being Dishonest
1. Talking Excessively About Ex-Partners

When you’re on a date, it’s pretty common to want to share stories from your past. But here’s the thing: talking a lot about ex-partners can be a major turn-off when you’re trying to attract the man of your dreams.
I get it—past relationships are a part of your life, and sometimes they just slip into conversation. However, bringing them up too often can make your date feel like you’re still hung up on your ex or comparing them to someone else. Imagine being on the other side and hearing someone go on and on about their past relationship.
It can make the other person feel like they’re just a stand-in or that you’re not ready to move forward. It’s important to focus on the present and the person sitting across from you.
You want to create new memories, not dwell on old ones. If the topic does come up, it’s okay to share a brief, neutral story if it adds to the conversation.
Just try to steer clear of negative comments or dive too deep into past dramas. Instead, use the opportunity to learn more about each other’s likes, interests, and future goals.
This creates a positive environment where both of you can feel comfortable and appreciated.
2. Displaying Negative Attitudes or Complaining Frequently
Let’s talk about one of those big mood killers on a date: negative attitudes and constant complaining. We’ve all had rough days, but bringing that energy into a date can really put a damper on the vibe and become one of the common mistakes women make on dates.
If you’re spending most of the time talking about how everything’s going wrong in your life, your date might start to feel like they’re sitting in on a therapy session rather than getting to know you. I get it—sometimes venting feels good, but a date is about exploring new connections and possibilities.
Instead, try to focus on positive topics and things that excite you. Sharing enthusiasm about your hobbies or recent experiences can create a much more engaging and enjoyable atmosphere.
It helps your date see you as someone who’s fun to be around and can handle life’s ups and downs with grace. Remember, first impressions count.
If the person across the table only hears complaints, they might worry that’s what their future with you will look like. So, next time you find yourself slipping into negativity, catch yourself and steer the conversation towards lighter, more positive subjects.
It not only makes the date more enjoyable but also leaves room for a second one!
3. Being Overly Critical or Judgemental

Another thing that can really dampen the mood on a date is being overly critical or judgmental. I get it. We all have our preferences and standards, but constantly pointing out flaws or being quick to judge can make the other person feel like they’re under a microscope.
Nobody wants to feel like they’re being graded on everything they say or do. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, try to shift your attention to the positive traits men look for in women.
Maybe he has a great sense of humor or shares a passion for something you love. Complimenting these traits can create a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.
Plus, it shows that you’re open-minded and appreciative, which is always attractive. If you catch yourself being critical, pause and take a deep breath.
You might be surprised at how much more you enjoy the date by simply letting go of the little things. Remember, everyone has their quirks, and part of dating is getting to know someone beyond the surface-level judgments.
By keeping an open mind, you not only make your date feel comfortable but also give yourself a chance to discover unexpected connections.
4. Oversharing Personal or Intimate Details Too Soon

Picture this: you’re on a date, and things are going pretty well. But then, the conversation takes a turn, and you start revealing a bit too much about your personal life or intimate details that might be better saved for later.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of oversharing, especially when you’re trying to build a connection and show interest without seeming desperate. I’ve been there, thinking that being open and honest right from the start would create a stronger bond.
But here’s the thing—sharing too much too soon can be overwhelming for the other person and might even scare them off. When you start diving into deeply personal stories or intimate aspects of your life early on, it can feel like a lot to digest for someone who’s just getting to know you.
I get that you want to be transparent and authentic, but there’s a fine line between being open and flooding the other person with more information than they’re ready for. It’s all about pacing.
Think of it like reading a book—if you reveal the entire plot in the first chapter, there’s no mystery left to unravel. Instead, try to aim for a balance.
Share enough to keep the conversation meaningful and engaging but leave some room for curiosity and future discussions. If a date asks a personal question, feel free to answer, but also gauge how comfortable they seem with the level of detail you’re providing.
This way, you’re not only protecting your own privacy but also creating a space for the relationship to grow naturally over time. Remember, the goal is to build a connection, not to bare your soul right from the get-go.
5. Using Excessive Filters or Misleading Photos in Online Profiles

Alright, let’s dive into something that could be sabotaging your dating success before you even meet up in person. You know how tempting it is to use filters and tweak your photos to look your best online, right? I get it—we all want to put our best foot forward.
But there’s a fine line between enhancing your pictures and presenting a version of yourself that’s unrecognizable. Trust me, showing up to date and seeing that look of confusion on his face because you don’t quite match your profile can be a bit of a mood killer. Think about it this way: honesty is a great foundation for any relationship, and it starts with your profile.
You want to attract someone who likes you for who you truly are. It’s okay to use a filter here and there, but try to keep it real.
Use recent photos that accurately represent you. It might be a bit nerve-wracking to show your authentic self, but it’s worth it.
It’ll save you both from any awkward surprises and lead to more genuine connections. Plus, when you’re genuine from the start, it boosts your confidence.
You won’t be worried about whether he recognizes you when you meet. Instead, you can focus on enjoying the date and seeing if there’s a real spark.
So, next time you’re updating your profile, think twice before reaching for that heavily filtered photo. A little authenticity can go a long way in the dating world.
6. Being Uninterested or Distracted During the Date
We’ve all been there—on a date where the other person seems more interested in their phone than in the actual conversation. It’s a real buzzkill, right? Well, the same goes the other way around.
If you’re checking your notifications or glancing around the room more than engaging with your date, it might come across as though you’re just not that into them and can make it harder to build a deep emotional connection. I get it, sometimes life is hectic, and it’s hard to switch off completely.
But being present is crucial. Try to focus on the person in front of you and really listen to what they’re saying.
This not only shows respect but also helps build a genuine connection. If you find your mind wandering, try bringing the conversation back to something you’re genuinely curious about.
Paying attention to the little things can make a big difference. Notice their body language or respond thoughtfully to what they share.
This makes the date more engaging and shows that you’re truly interested in getting to know them. A little effort in being attentive can go a long way in making your date feel valued and can open the door to more meaningful interactions.
7. Playing Games or Being Dishonest
One thing that can quickly derail a date is playing games or being dishonest. I know the idea of keeping things mysterious or playing hard to get might seem tempting, but it often backfires.
Instead of creating intrigue, it can lead to confusion and frustration. If you’re interested, show it.
If you’re not, be honest. This isn’t about laying all your cards on the table at once; it’s about being genuine. From my experience, honesty is a big deal.
Being straightforward about your intentions and feelings helps build trust. Pretending to be someone you’re not or fudging little details might seem harmless at first, but it can lead to bigger issues down the line.
It’s better to be upfront from the get-go. Remember, everyone appreciates authenticity.
It’s okay to be a little vulnerable and let your true self shine through. When you’re honest, it encourages the other person to be the same, setting the stage for a more meaningful connection.