If you’ve ever felt like something was off when pursuing a man but couldn’t quite put your finger on it, you’re not alone.
It’s easy to wonder if you’re doing everything right, especially when things don’t go as planned.
The truth is, even the smallest missteps can push a man away, sometimes without you even realizing it. These mistakes often come from a place of genuine interest, but they can backfire and cause more harm than good.
In this post, we’re going to dive into the top 10 mistakes women make when pursuing a man—and, more importantly, how to avoid them.
1. Rushing the Relationship
If you’ve already started dating, you must not rush the relationship. Let the natural flow of your connection build the magic and romance between you two.
Pushing for more too soon can overwhelm him and even kill the spark that’s just starting to grow.
Now, if you’ve been dating for a few months without things becoming official, it’s reasonable to check in with him about where things are heading. But remember, it’s a conversation, not an ultimatum.
You’re simply trying to understand where you both stand.
However, don’t jump the gun after just three weeks of dating—or even after two months, depending on how often you see each other. Relationships need time to develop.
Rushing can make him feel pressured, and that pressure can push him away faster than you think.
2. Being Overly Available
One mistake many women make when they’re in love or just starting to date is being overly available. It’s easy to fall into the trap of always being ready whenever he calls or texts, but this can actually backfire.
I’ve seen this happen firsthand with my sister-in-law. She made the mistake of being too available with the last guy she was dating, and it didn’t end well.
He started taking her availability for granted—postponing dates, prioritizing drinking with friends over spending time with her, and generally not valuing her time.
When you’re always available, it sends the message that your time isn’t valuable, and some guys will take advantage of that.
Remember, you’re worth more than being someone’s backup plan. Keep your own life busy and fulfilling, and he’ll respect your time more.
3. Excessively Flirting
Even though guys are often the ones who go overboard with flirting (and you probably know how annoying that can get, right?), you don’t want to make the same mistake with your crush.
Excessive flirting can actually have the opposite effect of what you’re hoping for.
Timing is everything when it comes to flirting. A little goes a long way, and just a small dose is enough to keep things interesting.
Save some of that charm for later—you don’t need to lay it all on at once.
4. Neglecting Your Own Interests
One of the worst things you can do while pursuing a man is neglect your own interests.
When you start to lose touch with what makes you you, it’s easy to lose yourself in the process.
Sure, he’s become one of your interests, too, but that doesn’t mean you should abandon everything else you love.
It’s not serious enough to sacrifice your passions or hobbies. In fact, keeping your interests alive makes you more attractive and keeps the relationship balanced.
5. Playing Hard to Get Too Much
Playing hard to get can be a useful tactic—until you overdo it. If you push it too far, you risk making him feel like you’re not interested at all, which can lead him to lose interest in return.
There’s a fine line between being a challenge and being impossible to reach.
Related: 10 Simple Tips to Attract Your Crush
If he’s constantly left guessing or feels like he’s chasing someone who doesn’t care, he might eventually give up. A little mystery is good, but don’t make him work so hard that he starts questioning whether it’s worth it.
Balance is key—show enough interest to keep him engaged but still leave him wanting more.
6. Pretending to Be Someone You’re Not
Never pretend to be someone else—always be yourself. Sure, it’s natural to adjust a few things when you’re interested in someone, but those changes should be minor. You still need to be you.
The worst-case scenario? You end up becoming someone you never intended to be. If you start a relationship based on a version of yourself that isn’t real, it’s only a matter of time before he notices the difference.
And if things don’t work out, you might find yourself lost—disconnected from who you really are and from the people who know and love the real you.
Don’t pretend. It’s not worth losing yourself over anyone.
7. Being Too Intense Too Soon
Jumping in with too much intensity when you’re pursuing a man can be overwhelming. It’s natural to want to show your interest, but coming on too strong early on can push him away.
For example, let’s say you just met a guy and had a great first date. If you immediately start texting him all day, every day and suggest seeing each other multiple times a week, it might make him feel pressured or overwhelmed.
Men often need time to gauge their own feelings. If you’re too intense too soon, it can create the opposite effect—you might scare him off rather than draw him closer.
Related: 9 Things Men Want During Dating You
Give the connection time to breathe. There’s no need to dive into everything all at once. Let things unfold naturally—a slower pace can actually create more meaningful connections over time.
8. Overanalyzing Every Interaction
It’s easy to fall into the trap of overanalyzing every little thing when you’re interested in a man. Did he take too long to text back? What did he mean by that comment?
Constantly picking apart every interaction can create unnecessary stress. If he doesn’t respond to your message right away, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s losing interest. He might just be busy.
Overthinking leads to doubts and insecurities that can make you feel like you need to do more to keep his attention. This can make you seem anxious or needy, which is definitely not attractive.
Instead of reading into every detail, try to enjoy the moments you share without obsessing over what they mean. Relax, be yourself, and trust that if there’s real interest, it will show naturally over time.
9. Making Him Jealous
If you’re thinking about making a guy jealous to get his attention, be careful—it can easily backfire, especially if he’s still just your crush or you’ve only just started dating.
While some strategies might work, they usually only succeed if he’s already extremely interested in you but pretending not to be. Even then, you’d have to be a master at playing the game without losing your shot at something real with him.
For most people, though, I can’t recommend this approach.
It’s too risky, and you might end up pushing him away instead of drawing him closer. It’s better to avoid this tactic altogether and focus on building a genuine connection.
10. Ignoring Red Flags
If you spot red flags in your crush, especially if there are multiple, and you still choose to ignore them, you’re doing yourself a serious disservice. This won’t end well.
Minor things you don’t like aren’t usually a big deal, but when you see real red flags, it’s time to stop before things go any further.
For example, if he’s overly controlling or dismissive of your boundaries, that’s a serious red flag.
Don’t make excuses or overlook signs that something isn’t right. It’s better to protect yourself now than to deal with heartache later.
I hope that now you understand all the mistakes women typically make when pursuing a man. Make sure to acknowledge these ten and don’t do them. That’s my most honest advice.